dealing with depression

okay so this is a really hard post to write because I don't know if anyone will read it and I don't know if it will make any sense because its hard to explain what's going on your head to someone else when you don't know yourself, but its worth a shot.

To me depression is the days I feel sad for no reason.
Depression is the mornings I don't feel capable of getting out of bed.
Depression is the homework I will never complete just because I don't feel capable.
Depression is the breakdown I have for no reason.
Depression is the butterflies I carry around in my stomach constantly.
Depression is the hurtful thoughts and actions I have towards myself.
Depression is the friendships that have been tested because im in capable of functioning like a normal human being.
Depression is the tears I have because I don’t know why I feel so worthless, when I know I should feel happy.

Depression is like living in a body that tries to survive with a mind that tries to die, you can go days, weeks, months maybe even a year without feeling lost but then one day its there again, there is no off switch, you will never control it. what no one really understands is, you could be happy but still sad, you could be crying with laughter but still sad.

I've wanted to end my life so many times, but no one realises, its scary, and sad, i wish more people knew the signs of depression more so maybe people could get help sooner,

the thing with depression is, You know you’ll be okay. but you still feel awful. You know people love you, but it doesn't feel like they do.You know doing something will make you feel better, but you just don’t know how to. You want to be well, but you just can’t seem to get there.

please, if you know someone with decompression, let them know you love them, they will never get tired of hearing it, tell them in different ways, just let them know.
also if you see someone with scars, never ask them what they are or how they got them or why they did it, it will only make things worse and make they feel worse, just keep your opinions to yourself.

Depression is tiring for both sufferer and others, im lucky to have people around who understand it and are they for me when I need them to be, who are patient with me when im having a rough time, I wish more people were like that, people need to understand that people with depression don't want it, and they cant control it, which is so stressful and causes it to be worse (I don't know if that makes any sense)
im so grateful for the people who help me and support me when im having a rough time,so thank you.

I still do have really bad days where I don't want to be around any more but thanks to the people who love me, they make those days seem a little more bearable, thank you.

if you have depression or think you might have, please please talk to someone, even me if want to, please whatever you do, DO NOT hurt yourself and DO NOT keep it in, talk to someone.